Yet acquiescingly I did turn as he pointed, neither pride Now hope rekindling at the end descried, So much as gladness that some end might be. For, what with my whole world-wide wandering, What with my search drawn out through years, my hope Dwindled into a ghost not fit to cope With that obstreperous joy success would bring, I hardly tried now to rebuke the spring My heart made, finding failure in its scope. As when a sick man very near to death Seems dead indeed, and feels begin and end The tears and takes the farewell of each friend, And hears one bit the other go, draw breath Freelier outside, (‘since all is o’er,’ he saith And the blow fallen no grieving can amend;’) VI. But cockle, spurge, according to their law Might propagate their kind with none to awe, You’d think; a burr had been a treasure trove. ‘See Or shut your eyes,’ said Nature peevishly, It nothing skills: I cannot help my case: ’Tis the Last Judgement’s fire must cure this place Calcine its clods and set my prisoners free.’ XII. Fighting discouragement and fear, he reaches the tower, where he sounds his horn, knowing as he does that his quest and his life have come to an end.
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Going through various Wikipedia articles on mental illness, I tried desperately to understand where he was coming from and explain how he was so easily enraged, where his "communication style" originated, but nothing seemed to fit - Bipolar didn't work because he was never "manic" or anywhere approaching ecstatic; indeed his moods are usually "Okay" or "Watch out." The closest it came was to Borderline Personality Disorder, but he wasn't clingy and didn't beg me not to leave him - typically he was the one telling me to get out, that he wanted a divorce, that he hated me, etc.
(volume 4 , pages 57-92), Sage Publications, Thousand Oaks, CA: January 1, 2009. INTIMATE PARTNER VIOLENCE PREVENTION: A CATALOG OF EVIDENCE-BASED AND PROMISING PRACTICES FOR COLLEGE AND UNIVERSITY CAMPUSES, Elizabeth Mosley, North Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence, Asheville and Durham, NC: April 2010.
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