Dating a recovering alcoholic problems
The last few years have been an absolutely "Why are you still here? We have moved twice in the last two years, and may be moving again soon, all times due to him changing jobs.Though my husband is an ACA (adult child of an alcoholic), and though the disease is in his other family members and extended family, and though he would occasionally tell me "I think I'm done drinking for a while", and though he has always drank as far as I can remember, I didn't truly know he had a problem until just last year.It's not fair to me, my husband or anyone reading this looking for a glimmer of hope for their own recovery.
His consequences are less visible, but I know them all too well. When I first published this blog, I wanted the title to include "(?I have not had to call bars asking around trying to find him.He is not constantly falling-down drunk, or even obviously drunk, to anyone (other than my now-trained eye) who would look at him.To those out there in my situation, I send you wishes of hope, strength, and love.And I hope myself to be enlightened by the wisdom of your experiences.Going through various Wikipedia articles on mental illness, I tried desperately to understand where he was coming from and explain how he was so easily enraged, where his "communication style" originated, but nothing seemed to fit - Bipolar didn't work because he was never "manic" or anywhere approaching ecstatic; indeed his moods are usually "Okay" or "Watch out." The closest it came was to Borderline Personality Disorder, but he wasn't clingy and didn't beg me not to leave him - typically he was the one telling me to get out, that he wanted a divorce, that he hated me, etc.(I should note here that I have learned that mental illness can occur with addiction, but I also eventually learned that it was a waste of time to try to "figure it out.") So here we are.He has not lost a job because of his drinking (on the contrary, he is getting ahead with each new job).I have never had to call in sick for him at his job or answer calls from his employer wondering where he is." I would struggle with an answer that made sense to most people, though sadly it is coming into focus.My husband is a professional; we are both college graduates.