Dating site for friends looking for love
Still, I got matches who would usually say nothing or just "Hi." Those who did say more provided some strange conversations. So where would you spend a Sunday afternoon in New York? No one else was that refreshingly direct), I responded with Central Park and waited.I had been busy that day, but our friend picnics by the park's Lake could happen next weekend.So I filled out my profiles honestly, noting in each I was not looking to date, "only make friends :)." This practice got trickier on more information-intensive apps—I literally responded to Coffee Meets Bagel's "I like it when my date…" query with a "doesn't want to date me. But Laurie Davis, author of and an online dating consultant, later told me that strategy was all wrong: Being direct was the kiss of death."If you're looking for friends, I would just not write anything about that until the very end if they ask you a question about it," she said. "On OKCupid, they ask you 'you should message me if…' and I would say something really casual there like, 'You think having a drink would be fun.' Use words like 'fun,' which is an indicator of more for social than anything else." She didn't have a lot of faith in my whole friend-getting scheme, really.I associated more with her: She had zero chance with me romantically because of my sexual orientation, and I'd feel unethically deceptive talking with her even though I wrote "straight" in my profile and that I was just searching for friends. I always wanted an English friend, in part due to the accent and cultural intrigue.I also doubted, after a while, people really read what I wrote. As forward as his message was (Did he want to hang out with me already?!With no other criteria, I swiped right on guys who I found attractive and could write a literate sentence in their About Me, the same method I used when trying to date.Going in, I thought the experiment was limited: Because these were dating apps, I couldn't access the pool of straight girls, those least likely to see me as a romantic target.
With photo-heavy, information light profiles, the apps had me frustrated within five minutes."As someone who's single, I wouldn't suggest [you] joining a dating site if you're really not interested in dating anyone at least casually," she said. I thought my "friends only" profiles would be the measure of this: The people who swiped right on me after reading them would understand and accept my terms.I jumped in swiping myself and found, to my surprise, a lot of guys were cool with my rule.Turns out the apps didn't create that restriction though: we did.On Tinder particularly, "The purpose was never just for dating, it was for social discovery in general," Rosette Pambakian, vice president of communications for the app, told me.During the month that I used social dating apps to find new buddies, I sent countless unrequited salutations, offered up priceless New York City travel recommendations, and even gave my number to a guy who wanted to discuss first amendment rights. When I started, I believed that, with millions of people just searching for company online, I'd easily find my new bestie or at least someone down for a platonic hang.A friend finder app, after all, didn't seem too far away with Tinder for cats and other spin-off matching services debuting. Lyke Me, an app three Michigan State University students have designed to match people based on interests, is launching this fall.) On a personal level, I wanted more friends."The co-founders wanted to create a really efficient way to meet people around you who you probably would have never met before."The "show me men versus women" option the app provides is "exactly what it says," Pambakian explains."We're not asking you to define what you're interested in." Yet I joined right in creating the user subtext.I was already imagining suggesting tea and scones at nearby Alice's Tea Cup when the Brit dreamboat got back to me one day later: "Thanks! I'm just traveling here for a couple days." I typed a polite "You're welcome," a little crushed.It turns out, according to Pambakian, Tinder is commonly used as a travel guide.